I’m sure you’ve been in situations where your energy was exhausted before. Either by a partner, a family member, a friend or work and school scenarios that has brought you moments of sheer mental and physical exhaustion.
In the situation of a group chat, you ask a serious question that you need help or support with and everyone ignores you. You make a sound and nobody notices cos they’re too busy observing and just reading through the messages, in hopes some other kind soul would answer you. In working together, you’ve even invested money and time into a project/ business but nobody else is working as hard as you. Why don’t you invest in people and things that actually matter for a change? Stop exhausting yourself and all your resources.
This shows that they’re not doing their part and that your energy should be invested into things, people and activities that don’t deprive you of your happiness and deplete you of all your positive energy. Don’t take up too much of your focused time and endless efforts on things that are wasteful and energy sucking. Learn to recognise it.
Different Values and Perspectives
Hey, no hard feelings ok. It doesn’t mean those people are bad or that the project is a failed brainstorm. They are who they are and sometimes some things match and some don’t. Some people have chemistry and some don’t. People have different principles, upbringing and prioritise things differently than you. So don’t take it the wrong way and exile these people or abandon a task. I know they might not be tech friendly, hate phone calls or sometimes don’t reply to texts or do their job well. But the point of the matter is, they don’t have the same values as you.
They don’t see that as a form of respect and integrity, so you don’t have to crack your head thinking of why why why do they do the things that they do. They’re adult enough to know what’s the right thing to do and if they still don’t do the right thing, why are you spending so much time on them? Don’t allow people to continually treat you like crap. You’re still there and allowing the bullshit to carry on. So make it clear that you’re done and that you’re not the type of person that allows that kind of behavior. Cos it’s not cool.
Stop Doing Their Dirty Work or Heavy Lifting
I’ve learned a lot from always being the sucker who does all the heavy lifting for people in groups where they don’t actually care about the results. They don’t really care about what grades they get, as long as they can surf on top of somebody else’s wave.
To the culprits ~ it’s not right to push all the work to your friend or team mate. It’s not right to not put in your fair share into a project. And it’s not right that “so and so” made all the effort and no one else is working but you get the credit for it. Like what is that? It’s so low.
You are not Responsible to Keep it Together
Unless in the case of being the eldest, the sole breadwinner or Monica from F.r.i.e.n.d.s, you don’t need to feel like you’re the glue that keeps this group together. Why invest all your energy to make sure everyone keeps in touch? Why put in extra time into a project that you’re the only one working your ass off for? Do they appreciate what you do ? Exactly. They don’t. It’s just who they are. Some are lazy and some are opportunists. Some are just disrespectful people with no integrity. Some are really busy people who have no time to prioritise and entertain your vanity. These doesn’t make them bad people. It just shows that they lack awareness, knowledge or principles. You don’t know their backstory so it’s hard to judge it holistically. They could be juggling 8 kids, three jobs, a spouse and trying to keep it together on their end, themselves.
You can only manage yourself and control your own actions, thoughts and feelings. People are not you, so don’t disappoint yourself by thinking that they think like you, cos they don’t. Don’t expect that of them.
You care for people, sure. But that doesn’t mean that other people care for you and feel the same way about friendship or view responsibility as how you do, right? Understand that you are different, your thought processing is different. Your life outlook is different. There’s no need to lose sleep over this. They can do what they want. It’s their life. There’s a saying that goes
When someone shows you who they are. Believe them.
Maya Angelou
Honestly, don’t take it to heart. News flash, that’s people for ya folks.
Gosh, if I was my 23 yr old self, I would go on an endless rampage for weeks and months about energy suckers. I just couldn’t accept it cos I find that behaviour appalling.
So you know what? Ageing with wisdom is an awesome, beautiful and fantastic process. You just have to learn how to manage yourself, things and other people in the many colorful methods there are. It’s all customised to each person. There’s no ready- to read manual template you can use to understand how everyone thinks. So take a chill pill. I still love these people whole heartedly, I just know where to invest my time and energy on, that’s all. No hard feelings. I only make effort if it’s necessary and if it’s from the heart. Anything and everything else, I leave it to the fate of the Universe. You’re way too old for me to teach you your basics.
And if you do something for people out of your own goodwill, please don’t expect a reward or anyone to show you their appreciation. Do it cos you want to do it. Don’t put them accountable for how you end up feeling. It’s not their fault. That is your own responsibility.
The Point
Recognise what sucks away your energy. Or who sucks your energy away HAha. Don’t exhaust yourself. It’s not worth the time and effort. Know where your efforts are appreciated, know when to stop on a project that is a dead end or even relationships that are a dead end. Realise that people have the right to how they’d like to live and that they’re just not like you. So don’t force a square into a circle. They are who they are. It is what it is. Let life flow as how it should naturally flow. Follow the energy that reciprocates. Be at peace with it somehow (after much cursing, swearing and venting it all out of your system HAha) . You’d lead a much more happier and abundant life once you invest your energy into what actually matters.
I hope there’s been some takeaways here. As usual, we want you to live a more simpler and more abundant life. Once you know how to manage yourself and situations, life can be at balance again. No unnecessary bad stress or bad vibes.
Well, that’s it from little old me. If you’d like to read inspirational quotes, get motivated or share your thoughts and ideas, do head down to our instagram account @simplelifedaily and do check out our online store @thesimplelife.store !
With love,
Meredith
Simplelifedaily 